Why Conservative Judaism is a Failure

Hmmm.. a glance over the past few posts makes it look like this is a blog about the abject failure of the cops in the US.  To correct that, I’ve decided to blog about one of my favorite organizational failure: Conservative Judaism.

Now don’t ge me wrong, I dig the whole Jewish thing. Really. So much so that I became a Jew, although it took me over a decade to finally knuckle down and do it.

So, some fairly sarcastic background for those of you that aren’t familiar with the major categories of Jews:

First, ya got the “Orthodox”. These range from the radical right black hat crowd to the more centrist Lubavitch (who still dress funny). Wouldn’t think of eating a non-kosher meal. These are the ones that TV shows make fun of.

At the other extreme, you’ve got Reform Jews. Think Unitarian, but with a bit of Hebrew thrown in. Thinks the idea of Lobster Bisque appetizer and pork chop main course is fine. Never heard of kosher.

Then ya got the Conservative Jews. They are a lot harder to describe, because they are everything in between. Some of them would fit in just fine with an orthodox community, but have decided to be a bit more mainstream, and call themselves conservative. Some of them are really reform Jews, but know that mom and dad (or maybe gramma) would freak out if they knew.

Of course, that exposes the real root of the problem with conservative Judaism – they identify themselves by what they are NOT. The most common description I hear from conservative jews is “I’d be reform/orthodox, except for (insert whatever pet peeve you care for here)”. Conservative Jews know that the Rabbi should keep kosher, and follow all of the rules that an orthodox Jew would follow, but as longa s the rabbi does, no one in the congregation has to bother. The Temple’s Hebrew School has to teach the kids to read and speak Hebrew, know the Torah inside out, and be able to expound on the history, culture, and rituals of Judaism, but as soon as the kid is 13 and has their Bar/Bat Mitzvah, they can forget it all. Oh yeah, and don’t expect to see/hear/experience/ or discuss any of it at home, because “thats why we send you to Hebrew School”.

In the past few years, conservative Judaism has crashed. While the Orthodox and Reform populations have continued to grow, Conservative Judaism is withering. Congregations are shrinking, and temples are being forced to merge or close down. There is an old saying among non-Conservative Jews that conservative Jews are on a stepping stone to assimilation, reform, or orthodoxy. Why? Because Conservative Jews have set themselves up to be as orthodox as they choose, but to also be as mainstream as possible. Reform Jews had the good sense to simply admit that they wanted tobe mainstream, and punted the majority of the “baggage” that orthodoxy carries with it, and have openly admitted that they are more interested in being “normal” than in being Jewish. The conservatives tried to walk a middle line.

The end result is that the Conservative Jews that were truly interested in continuing to live a more traditional Jewish life were scorned, and pushed out. The folks that were comfortable with the fact that they wanted to be mainstream went reform to start with, or slowly wandered out of the conservative temples where the services had too much Hebrew, expected at least token following of ritual (at least in the synagogue), and were simply too traditional for the truly “liberated” jew.

What is left of Conservative Judaism? There ARE a few left after all:

The families that are so invested in the local temple that they simply can’t walk away from all that money spent to get the family name plastered on the windows, door frames, pews, and whatever other random bit of furniture was big enough to hold a name plaque.

The people who still need to feel that they are “better Jews” or “more Jewish” than those reform Jews over there (even though the only difference is that the “conservative” Jew goes to high holiday services at a conservative shul, whereas the reform Jew goes to the reform shul).

The otherwise orthodox Jew that has some issue with Orthodoxy in general, and chooses to affiliate with a Conservative shul, even though they know that they’ll always be outcasts and viewed as extremists.

Of course, the fact that Reform Judaism is moving towards being more traditional is also eating into the Conservative Jewish population. As the Conservative movement has moved more left, the Reform movement has moved more right, so there really is very little (if any) difference between the two – at least in reality. There are all kinds of  “real differences” that people will pontificate about, but when it comes right down to it, there really isn’t much difference. Walk into a conservative shul one weekend, and try a reform shul the next. Once you’ve tried a half-dozen of each, you’ll realize that many of the reform shuls are much more traditional than many of the conservative shuls, and many of the conservative shuls are much more liberal than many of the conservative ones.

So there ya go. Conservative Judaism is failing because of an identity crisis. They’re really (mostly) reform Jews that are simply unwilling to admit it, and as they admit (or die off, and their kids admit it) Conservative Judaism is fading away.

Bible comics

In case you haven’t heard, R. Crumb the 1960s iconic underground comics guru is releasing a new comic book of (get this) the first book of the bible (Breisheit/Genesis). It is due out this fall, and apparently was started in the traditional Crumb style, but morphed into an “illustration project” using the complete text (not sure which version of the text though). Personally, I can’t wait to see it.

In the meantime, I also discovered (thanks to repeated pokes from good friends) Stoogepie, who also does a wonderful job of interpreting a few of the bible stories. Check him out here: http://www.stoogepie.com. Seriously, if you’re up on your bible lit, this guy has some wonderful points. If you’re NOT up on your bible lit, take a perusal anyway. You’ll see some of the bible that is usually kept pretty quiet.

Yeah, I know that this is a pretty tame post (at least for me), but these guys deserve some recognition for the hard work they’ve done.

Share and enjoy.

leftover Matzah? Here’s what to do with it

ok folks, in a rare fit of early morning pre-coffee surfing, I found this. Waste a few minutes and get a little giggle..

extra matzah

share and enjoy….

Singing at the Western Wall: Etiquette

The Western Wall is a constant source of discussion among Jews. Usually, the discussion (at least in my social circles)  involved discussing some event that made the news – usually an action by the more traditional Jews to try and maintain what they view as appropriate decorum at the wall. I have to admit that, in general, most of the issues that they have are not particularly relevant to my practice of Judaism. In part, because I live halfway around the world from the Wall, but also in part because I think they are just as entitled to practice their version of Judaism as I am. Here’s where the etiquette bit comes in.

Recently, there was a news article about a group of American Female Reform Rabbis who went to the western wall to Daven (pray). Now it is important to recognize some of the differences between Orthodox and Reform:

1. Orthodox Jews segregate men and women during their prayers. Reform Jews don’t.
2. Orthodox Jews do not allow women to be rabbis. Reform do.
3. Orthodox Jews do not have women wear Kippot or tallis. Reform do.
4. Orthodox Jews (typically) pray quietly, without song or lots of noise. Reform Jews sing, play musical instruments, and are no particularly quiet.
5. Orthodox Jews do the majority of the prayer service by themselves, at their own pace, only joining together for a few prayers. Reform Jews tend to pray together, and as a group.

These are only some of the differences, but you get the idea.

Anyway, this group of female reform rabbi’s show up at the wall, and make their way to the woman’s section. This in itself is a pretty significant point of etiquette. By accepting that the Orthodox Jews prefer to maintain separate male and female sections, and respecting that boundary, they are showing respect for the Orthodox Jews beliefs. Yay Reform. One Point for you. By the same token, the Orthodox Jews recognize that a group of female rabbis has showed to pray, and doesn’t make a stink about it even though they are wearing tallis and kippot (in the past, this has been an issue). Once again, showing respect for the others, and letting them do their thing. Yay Orthodox. One point for you.

Things progress like this for a while – both groups being respectful, both groups doing their own thing, and both groups (I assume) managing to have a meaningful prayer session at the Western Wall. Yay everyone. One more point each.

Of course, so far there hasn’t been anything except some ideallogical differences – nothing requiring interaction or contact between the two groups. You stay on your side of the line, I’ll stay on mine, and we’ll both be fine. If things had continued on in this way, there’d be much happiness, and many points, and everyone would win. Of course, if that had happened, I wouldn’t be blogging about it, now would I?. This particular prayer group included more women than normal, and was louder than normal (according to the Israel Religious Action Center (IRAC) – the Reform Movement’s legal arm. As they got a bit loud, some men shouted over the curtain between the men’s and women’s sections, shouting that a women’s voice is lewd (according to Orthodox Jewish Law, loud singing or shouting by women is considered unchaste and promiscuous. The ladies continued to sing, and apparently some Orthodox Women approached them, and asked them to quiet down. Things escalated, and the police ended up getting called in. I haven’t been able to find out if the Rabbis were allowed to finish their service, agreed to quiet down, or were allowed to continue.

So what happened to all the respect and good feelings that began? My guess is that the cultural differences simply blew up, and a simple situation got out of control. In general, Americans (not just Reform Rabbis, but most Americans) don’t take criticism very well, and, when traveling, tend to have the attitude that "our way is the right way, no matter where ther are. (I hate to say it, but most Americans live up to the international stereotype of fat, noisy, and obnoxious.) In my experience, Reform Jews tend to have some sort of complex when they are dealing with more observant Jews, and seem to often feel that they have to somehow "prove" that hey really are Jews. Of course, the Orthodox tend to be rather blunt in stating their opinions – in this case a simple "could you please be a bit more quiet" might have avoided the whole situation.

In any case, someone got their shorts in a knot, and things escalated. So after this rather circuitous path, we get to the whole issue of etiquette. Were the Orthodox out of line in expecting the Reform to be quiet? Were the Reform Rabbis out of line by being too loud? Were the individuals out of line for not being more polite? I like this one because some of the answers are easy, but some aren’t. The Reform rabbis were definitely out of line for being loud. Regardless of their tradition in their temples, the Western Wall is an area that is (usaully successfully) shared by all Jews. There is a fairly well established convention of what is tolerated, reached after many years of arguing and compromise.  A convention that requires everyone involved to give a little, look the other way, and cut others some slack. In other words, a compromise. So, the first breach of etiquette was in the volume. Penalty. One point off from the Reforms.

Of course, the response from the Orthodox man is pretty rude – at least by our standards. But, once again, we have to view this based on the norms of the Western Wall. Having only been there a couple of times, I don’t have a solid basis for this, but my impression is that a Jerusalem Jew would accept his shouting as “normal”. The far end of normal, but normal. Of course, in the interest of peace and harmony, it would have been NICE if he’d been a bit more polite.  Of course, the fact that the Reform Rabbis ignored the (albeit rude) request doesn’t put them into a particularly favorable light.Not enough for a full penalty, but definitely a warning for both sides.

I could go on, but the basic problem is that the group of Reform Rabbis broke the conventions that have been worked out. When informed that they had crossed a line, they didn’t return, but continued. I can’t tell if this is a religious issue  or just another instance of the Ugly American, but it really doesn’t matter. Even though we may not all agree with the way things are done at the western wall, there IS a workable balance. Anyone who has been the Wall will recognize it – especially if they are open minded and willing to look at all of the points of view. Everyone gives a little, and by doing so, everyone manages to share. When a group enters and tips the scales, they should expect to be asked to honor the local traditions. Jewish law (all Jewish law, not just orthodox) requires it – local traditions trump personal preferences.

It has been interesting to read the flurry of discussions on this topic – almost all of them are the typical knee-jerk “those Orthodox guys are crazy! they don’t own the wall etc. etc. etc.”. The real issue isn’t who owns the wall, or even what is or is not acceptable at the wall. The issue is “Is it OK to flaunt local traditions and agreements simply because you prefer to do things differently”. In my opinion, the answer is a definite, strong, and emphatic  “NO”. The Reform Rabbis were 100% wrong. They failed to follow the local norms and traditions (which allow all Jews to share the wall), and when informed that they were had violated the local mores, refused to back down. In this case, the Orthodox were simply requesting that the visitors respect established rules and agreements. The Reform Rabbis don’t have an ethical or moral leg to stand on.